I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize