Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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