FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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