No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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