ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
The air was thick with penises
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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