Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
