She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
