You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
