I got chris browned last night
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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