at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
