you guys were way drunker than both of me
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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