You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
