so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
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I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
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I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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