I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
