our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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