As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
