If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
