i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
