i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
