We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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