Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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