we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
