Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
wow bdsm is so cute
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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