remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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