P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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