Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
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