It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
he shaved USA in his pubs
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
