Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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