My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
