And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
