is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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