can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
