bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize