She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize