Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize
