Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
