and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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