i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
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i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
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First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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