I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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