accomplished twins. life is a go
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Randomize
