So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You were trust falling into bushes
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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