Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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