On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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