Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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