i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
