Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
is it fun? or sober?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
