Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You dont lie about slip and slides
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
