Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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