I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
false alarm, still single
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
