Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I hate all girls vehemently.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Randomize
