yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
