She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
