my vag is so smooth its legendary
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
