you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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