when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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