god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
