I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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