I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize