I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
