3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
