"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
