Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
