Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
