He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
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